The best way for a degrader to train a brat is abstinence.
Next is forcing her to do something she doesn’t want to. To lower her into a slut, cum bucket, and mindless woman who had to do his bidding. She’d fight, and he’d need patience, but that’s all part of the game.
Words would get her riled up. If she is a brat, she is secretly enjoying this.
You hit it hard because I call your name.
My voice, my notes, my heart’s calling.
You hit it hard because you know I want it.
My voice, my notes, my heart’s a calling.
“Master doesn’t sit on my tongue yet. U didn’t imprint me,” I said.
“I tried my best to imprint you. :) You are such a brat.”
I grinned. A spark ignited through my veins.
“I’ll need to punish you when I get back.”
“Takes more than once to imprint. Tho the memories lasted pretty long. Told everyone who asked me that I’m a young master.”
I shouldn’t have said those words. Each time I told someone that I found someone new, I was jinxing it. Like the last time when I shouted to the whole world that I’d finally found a FWB, things went sour fast. And the time before, I was happy, but that lasted two months before we parted.
I should not be happy.
I should not be relieved, horny or excited when I found someone I matched. Bad things always seem to happen.
So for him, I tried to keep it in, but it was hard.
Euphoria.
It was a feeling of excitement that I couldn’t resist. I kept it a secret for a week. I figured the promise would be met. The day was getting closer and we were going to meet again for the second time, for sure.
And then, he had a family commitment and needed to pack for his trip.
“Before I met you, going to Japan was all I thought of. I wasn’t excited about anything and now that I met you, I was.”
Our second meeting didn’t happen but he promised we’d meet again when he got back.
He seemed a decent, serious guy who wanted me as much as I wanted him. It couldn’t be helped. Family came first, followed by work and he was flying.
So for two more weeks more, I waited, and chatted with him online, listening to my new favorite song that he recommended. Met a few guys but didn’t go all the way. They were vanilla compared to the fun I had with him. That euphoria. A feeling I couldn’t imitate.
Those cold eyes. Dark and merciless. Those hands. Hard and commanding. Unforgettable.
And finally I told him. “N I turned down 4 people. But time will tell…” I added a pouting smiley. “Should I study what makes a good pet? Naahhhh…”
Between the messages I left and with him gone to Asia for vacation, I waited, sending naughty pics of myself and videos to get his attention. He knew the game.
“Btw my boobs have been bigger n heavier these days. Wanna eat melons gotta catch me this time of month. Too bad. Maybe I need to find someone else to feed on…”
“Merry Christmas pet," he said.
“U r so bad. Ok why is it…never mind. I think u have inborn instinct. Damn, I can almost feel ur teeth from here. Canines.”
He was playing the game well and I was losing. “I was reading up on degraders and brats.”
“What did it say?" he asked a few days later.
“Ain’t telling. But it fits us to the T,” I said. I was losing. Abstinence was making me pathetic. I knew I had to stop. The cougar had ego too but the trap was a maze hard to get out.
“I know you miss me a lot," he said.
“No, I’m not,” I lied. This baby cougar was a kitten. A real pussy. Shame on me.
“I’m missing you too," he said.
Bam. A total playa.
“Does Sunday night work for you?" he asked.
The day was finally coming. A month later and we were going to meet again. At first, it started as a casual conversation. He was as normal as normal guys went. I was chatting with a few and getting busy from my book launch.
I’d still remember the first time we met on the dating app.
“Hello,” I said to this stranger. It was hard to tell what type of person he was but I could tell he was a jokey guy with his silly face pic in glasses, while the rest of his pics were hot.
“Really wish we could call tonight," he said.
“Got what I needed online yesterday,” I said.
“Me? Jkjk.”
“Yes, u.” I laughed. “Hooked a yummy fish.”
“I’ve never been referred to as a fish before.” He added a smiley. “I thought I got what I needed yesterday too. But apparently, my fish is still looking for other bait.”
“Lol. U gotta work for it. This fish is a rare fish. As some call it a diamond card. Or luxury goods by other names. U barely saw the tip of it. Tho u prob know more depth than others.”
“I’d love to see more of it.” He smiled. “I know this is a high-quality fish that’s why I’m treating it with care. :)”
“Hahaha. A fish that fishes. So what does that make u if u fish a whale?”
“Why are you a whale in this scenario?”
“Because if u succeed, you're Captain,” I said.
“Not sure what that makes me," he said.
“Moby dick. Ok, jokes flat. Hahaha.”
“Not too bad. Maybe you can start calling me captain now.”
Wasn’t thinking much about him till he told me he was writing a screenplay and we started talking a lot and I was giving a writer’s advice to a budding writer. Similar to the guy before whom I’d asked to be my FWB, normal enough that I didn’t know what hit till it did.
It seemed it was the innocence of friendships that caught me off guard. Guys who didn’t start with sex and just wanted to be friends. A lesson which I hope I’d learned twice times now.
He drove an hour to see me that day. When we met in the elevator our lips collided. The moment my hotel door closed, he grabbed me and we were hands everywhere. The truth was, I sensed him before we started.
It was different.
“Let’s have it vanilla tonight," he said as I dropped my card key and glasses on the table.
I nodded. “Thanks for coming over. I’m just happy you came.”
That was the truth.
Yes, I wanted him. Waited for him a whole month. A year was ending and my heart was unease.
He was the first that really got to me. Two years of playing around, my heart had been broken a few times. Mending back the pieces as I jumped into the next or played around till the feelings left.
It was all ego. A feeling of rejection. The ghosting. Making to feel like crap because lies became apparent where honesty would have silenced the relationship a lot better.
“Just tell me if this doesn’t work out. I don’t mind you telling me. Don’t just ghost and disappear. Don’t block and with no reason, stop talking,” I tell the guys whom I’d respect and thought we had something going.
Most weren’t here. Most were in Korea so it was just out of courtesy. Though I should know, ghosting was as evident as yellow dust.
They were experts in Kakao and the social intricacies of the dating and friendship. Changing their profile to blank meant you are not important to them anymore, and then leaving a blank and 1/1 in your profile icon meant, they don’t want you know what they are up to but you are not completely off the list. With the background empty, it could mean this wasn’t an app they used or you are in the secondary profile or hidden profile. With all the above, and just a blank blue screen, no 1/1, nada, plus the messages never came back for weeks, that means you are blocked.
You are done. Gone from their lives like trash left behind. Even recyclables stood a chance. Blocking sucks. Ghosting sucks.
So, I should give him a pat on the back for coming to see me. That was why I liked him. He faced the music. He was matured for his years, and he respected my time.
We fell in to bed soon after we got to my room and I stripped off my green one-piece dress and showed him my red lingerie with my boobs, cleavage and all popping out. I chose the red lace dress because it gave a matured woman’s image and a lingerie one-piece so he could pull off my black T-panty and we could play the stuff the panties again.
But I could tell he wasn’t into it. We kissed a lot. I gave him a long blow job. Wet and deep throating but even with his eyes closed, I could tell he wasn’t into it. I forgot myself about not going vanilla and took out my leash. He complied putting it on me, and not saying that he didn’t want to. The master wasn’t in the room that night. Just him.
I stopped a couple of times. He tried to get me going with his fingers and kisses but I too wasn’t into it anymore.
“Tell me. What’s wrong?” I finally asked.
“I didn’t want to tell you online," he said. “I’m sorry I led you with my words. I think I can’t do casual sex.”
I nodded. Surprisingly, I was calm and not in shock. I disassociate easily. A mechanism I’m realizing I did well.
“I admit initially I was very excited about being with you and I really wanted to play with you and us having fun. But now I don’t.”
I knew that. A guy who wanted to play would have chatted more. But, I told myself it was part of his play and he was on vacation and so him not responding for days was normal.
“Okay. That’s fine,” I said. A cougar was above this. I wasn’t going to break. “Are you going now or can you hang a little?” I asked.
We wore our clothes and sat down while he showed me his pics of his travel. We left on good terms with him promising to read my book.
A last hug and he was gone. The door clicked and the sand walls I’d built in rapid speed came crashing down. My plans to have fun and him saying he’d give me morning sex again were dreams. All of it, painted dreams that only I felt.
“You never had morning sex?” H laughed. He’d asked me a couple of times, and each time I’d to admit. In in the four times when guys stayed overnight, I got nothing. No night sex after and definitely no morning sex or breakfast.
Each one slept through. Each had a reason for not eating, and many reasons for leaving in a hurry.
“No. Never had once.” I dropped my head as H laughed his head off.
I was a failure, so much for being a cougar.
I was a baby cougar. Still innocent despite the two years of fun. Trusting, impatient, horny and bouncing around with my boobs jiggling and happy and sad, emotions were an open book, to be read in ease.
I wasn’t that confident woman I made out to be. I wished I was. I pretended nothing hurt me. I was the hunter. I was the one who ate and left.
I broke hearts, not mine.
He made me cry. Tears running down my cheeks. I tried to get over it but I couldn’t.
“I’m sure you have many guys to play with," he said before the door closed. Because of my broken mind, that scene replayed over and over again. A broken record to what was supposed to be a perfect night.
“Actually, no. I only have you,” I whispered.
Yes, it was the truth. He was my best match. I knew he liked me to only have him which is unfair because he planned to date around and find the girl of his dreams. Which it is only fair because I have H.
But as a good pet, I could have told him, I’d drop everyone off so he could be my young master, at least for some time.
Perhaps it was best it didn’t work. Because relationships wasn’t what I wanted or needed. I was just envious that H had that and I didn’t. That’s what I told myself.
“Treat them as bagels.” As H often said.
Yes. Bagels. Why couldn’t I have a bagel which I liked and eat it enough to change to another after, and come back to it again. We could just be friends who like sex. Sparing some of our precious time like we would with our other friends whom we don’t fuck. Surely, that was good fun right? And if we got our big bangs and highs from each other, wasn’t it an added prize?
Was that too much to ask?
Euphoria. I want you, oh I want you.
Euphoria. You know I want you, and you want me too.
Just for tonight, you and I.
I’m gonna give you head, and you gonna give me right.
I want to fuck you until the sun comes up.
Constant humping with your panties in your mouth.
You hit it hard cos I call your name.
My voice, my notes, my screams bouncing.
You hit me hard, because you know I want it.
My voice, my notes but my heart ain’t calling.