To the spy who almost fucked me
He said he was a doctor — a Korean doctor with the UN working in Yemen.
Now, doctors don’t frequent dating apps like Bumble. The same goes for the other elite professional classes, such as actors, singers, and the supposed Chaebols.
Doc was eloquent in his thoughts, and instantly I knew I was dealing with an intelligent guy who wasn’t just ruled by his dick. But like every guy, he needed his fix, which was how we met.
“I like the fact that you know what you want," he said. “And I believe you’ll be so good in bed.”
“I am. Not to boast. You haven’t heard me moan,” I replied. Time had taught me well, and a cougar needed to be confident to catch her prey.
“It’s been a long time since I had sex because of all the arabs here," he said. A guy who was more interesting than many I’d spoken to in a while.
“True.” ONS was probably non-existent. However, the thought of having sex in the Middle East beneath those garbs was definitely thrilling. Aladdin and Jasmine must had sex a million times in the imaginations of their horny fans.
“I even use soap now," he said.
“OMG, it must be hard being there. U don’t have lube?” I asked.
“I need someone to ride me so hard like crazy," he said. “Till I pass out.”
“Sounds so good.”
“Maybe that’s why you crossed my path.”
“I want to fuck you but how on earth r we going to meet?” I said that because his profile pictures show a super cute and handsome guy, and I was feeling horny that day. “R you into online sex?”
“It’s between us. Nothing is impossible," he said.
“I’m kind of stuck here, or when I go to Asia,” I said, already trying to plan a way to meet this super hot guy. “U have to come to me. But I’m sure u can get any girl u want.”
“One question," he asked.
“Yes,” I replied.
“If I come to your city, can you come and meet me at a hotel?”
“Yes.”
“Secondly, can you pass a night or only during the day, we can be together.”
“Day time,” I replied. “U r my special FWB.”
“Tell me have you found someone else before me?”
“Hard to explain why mom is not home,” I said. “No one near my home.”
“Well, having you day time is not bad. We have enough time to make each other cum," he replied.
“We can go out or fuck all day,” I said.
“Do you like to be sucked, your pussy?” the questions came fast, lightning flashes.
“I don’t mind. I’m shy. I like giving blow jobs.”
“Because I like to suck while she suck mine.”
“69.”
“Have you squirted before?" he asked.
“A lot. I rain squirt. Waterpark,” I replied. An ability I never knew I had till I watched a vid of a woman squirting and wished I could do it too, and one day I did. Now, it was an ability I was proud to show as part of my pony trick. Most guys loved it, and I was excited to please.
“kkkkkk,” I laughed. “No seriously.”
“Where have you been long ago?" he asked. “You crossing my path is wonderful. I want to be the one to undress you. I will use my teeth to remove your undies.”
“I want to see you,” I said.
“When do you want me to come? You let me know. I need to speak to my supervisor about it.”
“Do you have Instagram?” I asked. I was excited. My flasher instinct was kicking in. Wanting him to feel as I did, the high of lust.
I have Facebook, no Instagram," he said.
“It’s Sunday today. H is gone for the week. Also, we just met,” I replied. Much as it was fun talking about him flying here from Yemen, we had to meet first. Online check. Id veritified.
“It has to be an emergency flight. The decision is yours to make, but I wish I could have you like this.”
“U r not serious…” I said. Fantasy was becoming more real.
“How do you mean?" he asked.
“Call me. Let’s vid chat. I meant we just met. Let’s talk vid chat.”
“It’s okay," he said.
“Call me. I don’t mind if you're messy or tired. U can see me too. Ur idea to fly here is crazy, but now I’m curious about u.”
And so he called. Vid chat, which I picked up only to hear the sounds of an Arab woman talking in Arabic. My heart was pounding, and flashes of terrorists entered my mind.
Red burst through my thoughts. Flags were everywhere. My head was screaming — Holy shit!
“Did u catfish me?” My heart was hammering in my chest. He wasn’t a he. He was a she, and she was an Arab who worked for the terrorists. This was more than what I could deal with.
Holy fucking shit.
“Hold on! It’s redirecting me," he texted fast.
“Please stop.” He responded to my question.
I was major freaking out. Thinking of Big Brother or Korean KSS was tapping my Kakaotalk right this moment, and I was causing an International crisis, was a bomb counting down.
H was gonna kill me. He was so gonna kill me! This was the end of everything I’d built. I’d never get to go to Korea for the summer. I’d never see my friends whom I spent days and months chatting with and grooming.
All because of this Korean doctor in Yemen.
The spy who almost fucked me.
“Are you there?” His text appeared suddenly. “Is that what you think about me now?" he asked. I could almost hear him. The tentativeness in his tone.
Was he for real? Was he still a he, or was this major script playing out?
Drama unfolding.
Silence could break the air. The stillness of my eyes staring at the chat window. My heartwas hammering in rapid motions.
My mouth was gaping. Still too shocked to process.
“I see the issue," he continued. “If you are having a life conversation. Outside connection. It will redirect you to the UN database.”
UN, aka United Nations. OMFG. This was serious. I was messing with an International crisis. Flirting with the law, messing with the world’s security.
“You don’t believe me.”
An image appeared. It was his ID card. Yes. It was an UN card and there was his picture matching the ones I saw in his bumble. Yes. He was a doctor on that ID.
“This is my identity if you think badly of me.”
My fingers hesitated. For once, I let my brain work.
“No. It is just that u sound not Korean. I got catfish before. I’m sorry. I was scared.” Honestly, I should have shut it down right there. Again, H was resting on my shoulder and telling me to do the right thing.
But…naughty Yuki had to know. Had to see it through, to peer down a road I should travel. Curiosity would kill this pussy.
“This will be the problem for us," he said. “Because you will have trust issues even when we are making love.’
“That is why I wanted to see u,” I said.
“I called by myself, you know that. Don’t you know that’s not good for me and you because once it stored it anyone can play the video conversation between u, and your sexy body will be seen. That’s why immediately I saw the redirection, I cut off.”
The subtlety of a romance scam. How complicated was this playbook?
I didn’t know Arabic. All I knew was that security was tight. Doc could be a prisoner captured by terrorists and trying to find a way to get me to get him out.
The Arabs were tapping our calls, and who knew how much they could get from kakao. Doc could be anything and everything that was dangerous.
The conversations were steering, and blinded by my curiosity, I let him take me on this journey of the unknown. So persuaded by his pictures and his sweet words of wanting me to be his FWB — his sexual soul mate.
I told him I had an open relationship. My husband was away. And then, he said this:
“Then, why are you afraid to travel to come and fuck me?”
“Bec I have kids.”
“You can bring someone to look after them.”
What was this? That was an over-the-top ask. How was I supposed to do that? Perhaps they had helpers in Yemen. Maybe it could be possible in Southeast Asia. But in the US, bringing a helper on a flight to watch my kids? That was a crazy idea only the Uber rich could do.
The biggest question was why he thought I was capable of that? Or why he thought he was worth the hoops I had to jump.
“We can have a close by hotel you will be coming during the stay for us o fuck since you can’t sleep over. You will be bringing me fruits and things to replenish my body.”
“A year and seven months," he said. Granted, not having sex for so long could drive any man insane, but I knew guys who went through two years or more with no physical sex.
“I wish I were in any state in the United States. By now, I should have been planning to eat you.”
“Yes. Steak.” I was still thinking of food I could buy.
“Because a lot of cum will be leaving my body," he said.
“Ahh. Coconut water. Whatever u want.” A grocery list. I was hiding a fugitive.
“After eating you out and fucking you. You will be on your way leaving and suddenly I will drag you back push you on the sofa and start fucking you again.”
“U will tie me up and blindfold me. I won’t know which hole u will go first,” I said.
“Why not book me a replacement flight over here let me fly down?”
“Replacement?” I was confused.
“Yes, they call it a replacement flight here in Yemen.”
“Can u come? Is it last minute?” I asked.
“Why not? If I’m lucky, I can get 2 weeks out of work or thereabout.”
“When are you thinking of flying?”
“You are the woman. You have to decide when you want me to come. My duty is to satisfy you and make you fly without wings while we are fucking," he said. “If I fuck you, you will not want any other man.”
I smirked. “I thought it was the other way around.”
“Which is?”
“U want me,” I said. Power play. A cougar wants to be wanted.
“I don’t understand.”
“U want to fuck me like crazy. Let’s think about this more,” I replied.
“In a manner that will please your body and soul for a fuck," he said.
A day went by. My mind is overriding my needs. This guy was dangerous. The flags flew. I was ready to surrender to their warnings. I’d been almost pig-slaughtered. My lesson was learnt. I should know better.
“You didn’t say any reasonable thing to this," he said that night.
“I didn’t because I need to think more,” I replied.
“Alright. Take your time. If you don’t want good," he said. He was smarting. Playing the game.
“?” I asked.
“I said if you don’t want me to come, there are no issues.” Doc was obviously pouting.
“I see. I think we might be too excited and impulsive,” I replied.
“Why did you say so?”
“The idea sounds good, but reality may be harder,” I said.
More than hard. Even if I had miles to cover his flight…who knew what else was needed? A visa because he came from Yemen? And he was planning to stay for two weeks? Rationally, how could he afford to be gone that long? And if he could, why didn’t he just lie and go to Seoul instead to visit his family?
“Yuki, the choice is yours.”
“Ok, I will sleep and think.”
“Good night, Yuki. Enjoy your sleep.”
Another day passed. “I have to rush now, but I’ll talk to u soon,” I told him. I was being cowardly. The decision was made. Plus H was coming home. My lust was dissipating.
“Alright. If I have not gone to bed by then," he said.
“Sorry, I was out for a long time. It is 2 pm my time. I just saw ur message.”
It was time. “I want to be honest with u. I want to know u better. I’m attracted to u, but I feel we need to be in the same playing field,” I said. “I’m very impulsive n the idea of us meeting n colliding in passion is exciting.”
I took a deep breath and let my fingers do the talking. I knew he could read this wrong, but emotions aside. He was just an online person who could be or not be a real person, and even if he was, nothing was worth risking my family and my name.
“U r in a politically charged country n I'm in the US. I know a soldier who was just recently in Y too. Im going to Seoul next mid June…we could meet at that time.”
I sent him vids and pics and my 6xs of orgasm some time back.
“I enjoyed it all. Well like I said if I won’t be able to be with you in time to come to have a taste of you and do all we want to do with each other on the bed, sofa, kitchen and pool. It won’t make sense wasting time here," he said. “Because I want reality of things we are chatting here.”
And that was how it ended.
A swift cut.
A surgical blade was slashing through the ties that we were forming.
For the whole year after I had him at the back of my mind, and how I escaped a potential international crisis.
Prison. It could have been in the headlines about a suburban mom bringing in a terrorist. Taking romance scam a mile further than just bitcons.
And the first thing I could think of before the crisis and infamy was that H would be pissed. He would be pissed and this open thingy we had going, would go down in flames as will our marriage.
And I was the cause of it. This compulsive, impulsive nature. I was at times a rabid bitch who couldn’t let go.
Letting my pussy do the thinking. Who said only men listened to their dicks.
H was right. I should have been a teenage boy. In fact, it wasn’t the first time someone had said that to me.
My sex addiction. Will it ever go away? Can I blame it on my brain that was fizzled by my health scare?
Or had it always been there — a crouching cougar hidden behind barbs of motherhood.
I’m trying to curb it.
“You need to see a sex therapist,” said H. “But, I doubt anything can be done with you.”
Am I broken? Or am I becoming the woman I always wanted to be?
Was this freedom? Yoloing.
You lie.
I’m doing research.
You lie.
Just you wait.
Time was running out. Age might be a number, but my cells weren’t. My ripe body was meant to be used. Orgasms were meant to be echoed to the heavens. And until the sky falls, my climb continues.